Where I've Been...and Where I'm Going

I haven't posted anything in two years. Nearly to date. So much has happened since then. I was once so naive about life. I thought I had a good grasp on the ideas of the human psyche; our very nature; our centers. I was so wrong. Today, I am putting the pieces back together. My creative juices seem to have ceased to exist. I don't know where they went. I have an idea - they left when a man came into my life, stole my thoughts, tore a part my heart, and ran away. He stole my focus. He made me forget. He was my anesthesia to life and my amnesia to my goals. I know I had the choice to leave him, multiple times, and should have. But, as the story goes, I was in love and that, at the time, was more important than anything and everyone else, including myself. Heartbreak makes a soul stronger through weakness. I don't quite understand it yet. But I'm getting there. I guess the best way to fully understand everyone else is to fully understand yourself. I'm looking forward to writing again! I am slowly but surely getting back into the flow of things. My life is starting again, those past chapters are officially closed and I do not plan on ever living them again. The last 6 months have been hard. Excruciatingly so. I've been torn down to a level I never knew I could be brought down to. I've been slammed (figuratively) against the wall and I am just beginning to breathe again. I can feel the phrases coming back. I've begun to keep a piece of paper and pen on hand again. I have found my moments, my creative niche is coming back. I feel the calm I once felt before begin to surround me again. My heart beats slow and I feel more moved than I have in a long time. I was so numb in my idea of what I thought was the feeling of love. Infatuation is the death of love. Never again. I'm so much stronger. I stand tall and I can now find the words to describe the transcendence that I have been feeling more and more over the last few months. I have left the toxicity of my old life and I am bringing back that pureness that I once lived for, strived for. Until my next post, which hopefully will be soon! Lots of love and tons of smiles :) Silke