March 3, 1989
I was born. It's amazing how fast years can fly by and still memories of childhood seem like they were only yesterday, but yet what I had for breakfast yesterday morning does not even ring a bell. How fast and yet how slow these years have gone by me. I of course have regrets, but I think that I have grown from my mistakes and misunderstandings. I wish I could go back to the playground and play tag and hide and seek. Instead, if I go back to the playground, it is to return to those days only in thought upon a bench while I watch other children create their own memories.
I often think about life, not just mine, but the whole life in general and I wonder what it is that makes it so beautifully terribly wonderfully terriffyingly amazing? I think it's all the terrible moments, all the incredibly sad moments, all the horrendous moments that make us stronger. Every time I experienced one of these moments, I soon experienced some of the happiest moments of my life. I couldn't resist the laughter and smiles that encased my very being. And now today all I do is laugh and smile. I see the good in every day, every moment, and every person I encounter. My life has been full of ups and downs, obstacles, and dead ends, but I have come this far and I believe that I have so much to look forward to, as long as I keep in mind the past and what I have learned, I only have a bright future ahead and many more things to learn.
Is it possible to slow down time? Tonight as I head out with my friends to go downtown for the first time, I want to freeze frame moments and relive every sensation from the night. I wish I could freeze frame memories and certain moments, capture conversations and exact feelings. Tonight, as I head out, I will keep this in mind. I need to remember to smile and to laugh. Even if I trip or fall or meet someone great, I need to remember to smile and to laugh and to accept each moment and action as meant to be.
